IRN-BRU

If you can get a spray-on tan in Cowdenbeath
And top it up on Portobelly Beach
If you can get your belly button pierced
And work oot till yir bottom`s like a peach.
If you can wax and wax yir bushy lady bits
And get yirsel a cheeky wee tattoo
And find a bra that pushes up yir tits
And paint yir little tootsies in the loo.
Then check the hunk next door is watching you
Pit oan that top that hides yir bingo wings
And wear those heels you got fi Jimmy Choo.
Yir ready now…..fir pittin oot the bins.